BY STEVEN MAY 28, 2023
BY STEVEN MAY 28, 2023
BY STEVEN MAY 28, 2023
BY STEVEN MAY 28, 2023
BY STEVEN MAY 28, 2023
My Wife and I – Married 20 years
The world of dating and romantic relationships is confusing. Especially when bombarded with the theories and tactics espoused by self-proclaimed “seduction experts.” AKA members of the “Secret Society of Pickup Artists.” These “Seduction Experts,” with their e-books and anonymous Twitter accounts, promise the secrets to attract women. Yet, they often push awkward methods and misinformation. They never share relationship results. They claim to know women and will tell you that being a “Casanova” is the way to a woman’s heart. Wrong. As a happily married man, I can tell you the ways of the “pickup artist” are DEAD and gone.
The twists and turns of social media and online dating can be tricky. The lure of becoming a ‘Conversation Casanova’ may seem like a convenient shortcut. Sadly, many books and online social media seduction experts encourage this awkward transformation. And it’s easy to fall into the trap, and reality is far from their promise. Their “Casa Nova” approach encourages men to embody an artificial, larger-than-life persona. They claim this will make you irresistible to women. These hidden figures tweeting and posting with improper grammar claim to know what women want. Yet, they never share the results. They will never use their own names or photos and cannot provide a real example of their interpersonal relationships with women. These anonymous “dating experts” are the living embodiment of the Casanova Wannabe.
Buy This E-Book If You Want To Scare Women
These tactics often lead to discomfort and awkwardness. The “charm offensive,” meant to sweep women off their feet, is insincere. And worse, unattractive. Instead of forming a genuine bond based on shared interests and emotional connection, these self-initiated “seduction community” members engage in stilted exchanges that reveal their lack of depth. They come across as shallow and boring.
The ‘Conversation Casanova’ strategy can particularly damage young adults just starting their dating journey. They are led to believe that presenting a false persona is the key to attraction, skewing their understanding of what a healthy, honest relationship should look like. This could lead them to develop manipulative habits. Thinking deception is the only way to gain a woman’s attention.
In an era where authenticity is valued, especially in personal relationships, the ‘Conversation Casanova’ approach is ineffective and damaging. True attraction stems from authenticity, emotional connection, and respect, not rehearsed lines and staged personas.
Tracing the roots of “seduction literature” brings one of the first seduction experts, Robert Greene. His book “The Art of Seduction” was published in the early 2000s. This seminal work investigates the charm wielded by historical icons like Cleopatra and Kennedy—individuals whose charismatic allure was complemented by their overwhelming influence and power. It’s important to note these were not your average Joe or Jane; they were a queen and a US president. However, the distinction often blurs in readers’ minds, distorting the original concept of seduction.
The term ‘seduction’ is far removed from the underhanded manipulation that it is often misrepresented as. Today, when one mentions ‘seduction,’ it’s likely to conjure images of trickery and deceit. It sounds more like “sedation” and resembles “manipulation.” This shift in perspective misleads individuals about the dynamics of genuine attraction. It promotes a narrative that objectifies the people they seek to attract.
The misinterpretation and misuse of the concept of seduction have led to harmful notions about attraction. They encourage the belief that manipulation is the way to a woman’s heart, which can cultivate an unhealthy view of romantic relationships. Instead of viewing attraction as a genuine connection based on mutual interests and respect, it is perceived as a game to be won through cunning tactics and machinations. Guys can do better by being authentic and demonstrating genuine interest in the women they meet.
Fake seduction experts distort truths and recommend cliche tactics to meet women. This terrible advice has significant implications, particularly for young men beginning dating. It fosters a lack of authenticity. It encourages deceptive strategies, undermines genuine connections, and can have a devastating ripple effect. Impressionable, inexperienced young men can damage their personal lives when they employ such nonsense. Many of these “pickup artists” teach us to hold eye contact with a woman and never look away…until she does. This is scary, awkward, and cringe to levels that this article cannot adequately describe. When such tactic leaders are embarrassed and isolated, the social media seduction experts stay anonymous and are never accountable.
Real Connection is out there
It’s essential to clarify the distorted concept of seduction. The true essence of seduction is not about trapping someone in a web of deceit but about captivating their interest through genuine connection and shared interests. It’s about being authentically engaging, not about being artificially alluring. When I meant my wife, we shared our interests and fears. I loved listening to her…and, of course, looking at her:) I was starting out in life but had ambition, and I was confident in what I would accomplish. She sensed that and was also interested in learning more. We were married two years later, and now we have two beautiful children and a grandchild!
So, let’s not confuse ‘seduction’ with ‘sedation.’ Actual attraction isn’t about putting someone under a spell or manipulating their feelings. It’s about fostering a genuine connection based on mutual respect and admiration. It’s about showing your authentic self and appreciating the authenticity in others. Remember, seduction isn’t a deceptive game to be played but an earnest expression of attraction.
With the rise of seduction literature, strategies such as the “Mystery Method” have gained popularity. Endorsed by writers like Neil Strauss and Ross Jeffries and espoused by countless social media superstars, this method teaches young men to maintain an air of mysterious unpredictability and even use a backhanded compliment to demonstrate interest. I’ll be honest: I have always been naturally humorous and comfortable in conversation, so the gentle “backhanded” compliment is not difficult to deliver.
Additionally, I am comfortable with self-deprecating humor, a concept I will help you within an upcoming dating article. But back to this cringy mystery man approach, which is not a smart move for most guys, like 90%. Even worse, this faux mystery man concept has devolved into a fashion and lifestyle trend, pressing guys to have a “natural air of mystery” (from the geniuses at https://masculinemindset.com/how-to-be-mysterious/). Because, fellas, there is nothing more “natural” about a man PRETENDING to be “mysterious.” Unfortunately, this tactic will not work if you’re not naturally mysterious. As it wouldn’t for me, and I never needed it.
This Dude is Cringe. Don’t be him.
Picture this: an average guy attempting to cloak himself in an aura of mystery that he doesn’t genuinely possess. The act quickly descends into a farce, making him seem artificial and awkward. The exact opposite of intriguing. I have witnessed this for years, and in my single days, I capitalized on it. The more guys in the room trying to be something they’re not, the better it was for me. What was I? The nice guy who has real experiences to share and knows how to listen.
But back to our newly minted Casanova… the woman he’s trying to impress will undoubtedly sense the contradiction in his approach and identity. She will be instantly turned off. The efforts to seem elusive will make the Twitter-trained “superior male” appear distant or uninterested, causing confusion and misunderstanding. A nice guy might find himself compromising his true nature and spoiling his chances, all in an attempt to adhere to the “Mystery Method.”
Moreover, this method leans into the dangerous territory of manipulation. For instance, using backhanded compliments can be seen as a subtle form of negging. This manipulative tactic involves lowering someone’s self-esteem to make them more susceptible to manipulation. While this method may initially grab attention, it will likely breed resentment and mistrust in the long run.
The “Mystery Method” promotes the idea of dating as a strategic game, with women as trophies to be won. This dehumanizing and awkward 80s-era viewpoint encourages the idea of women as conquests rather than individuals with their feelings, thoughts, and desires. The focus shifts from building a genuine connection to winning the game, diminishing the true essence of a romantic relationship. By no means does every approach mean a man is looking for a long-term relationship, but a real connection leads to actual results for either a few hours or even a few years.
This odd “mysterious man” approach also undermines the importance of authenticity in attracting a partner. The tactic suggests that pretending to be someone you’re not and hiding your true feelings are the keys to attraction. However, true attraction and connection stem from being genuine and open, not from orchestrating a contrived act. And let’s say it works with that nice girl who works at the coffee shop, and you connect on Snapchat and go on a date. She will quickly realize your natural self and likely be sad and disenchanted at your contrived “mystery” approach.
Navigating the murky waters of the dating world is challenging enough without the dubious advice peddled by faceless “gurus” on various social media platforms. Their enigmatic online presence is questionable and, at worst, outright deceptive. They draw unsuspecting individuals in with tantalizing promises of mastering the “art of seduction” and gaining access to their elite ‘Secret Society of Pickup Artists.’ However, the question remains: where is the evidence of their success?
These experts remain conveniently anonymous, spinning stories of grand romantic conquests while providing no tangible proof of their claims. The so-called evidence provided is often a mishmash of cherry-picked text conversations or selectively edited video footage. Such limited snapshots must capture authentic romantic relationships’ emotional complexity and multi-faceted nature.
No woman wants to be near this guy
The tactics these social media seducers promote lack substance and depth, focusing primarily on manipulative strategies to attract women. Such methods fundamentally misunderstand the intricate dance of human connection, reducing it to a game of strategic maneuvers and hollow victories. By preaching this distorted narrative, these anonymous frauds do a disservice to their followers, potentially leading them astray in their quest for meaningful relationships.
The lack of transparency is another red flag. Anonymity on social media platforms provides these so-called experts a convenient cloak, shielding them from accountability and scrutiny. With real-world proof, it’s possible to gauge the effectiveness of their methods, leaving followers vulnerable to unverified and potentially harmful advice.
It’s crucial for those seeking genuine connections to be wary of such unproven claims. Authentic romantic relationships aren’t. Built on game-playing or manipulation. They flourish on the pillars of honesty, respect, and mutual interest – principles that these anonymous social media ‘experts’ conveniently ignore in their quest for followers and acclaim. A healthy dose of skepticism towards these faceless advisors could spare many from falling into a rabbit hole of false promises and empty rhetoric. As a rationale, males should question these accounts and see how quickly they are avoided or even blocked.
The dating world can feel like stumbling through misinformation and unproven claims. Yet, amidst the haze of dubious tactics and counterfeit experts, Mark Manson stands as a beacon of authenticity and wisdom. His published works rank among the best books on attracting women, not through manipulation. Instead, by honesty and vulnerability.
Unlike many self-proclaimed dating gurus, Manson doesn’t offer shortcuts or easy answers. In his best-seller “Models: Attract Women Through Honesty,” he doesn’t peddle tired, overused lines. He doesn’t advocate for creating a false persona to attract women. Instead, he believes in the power of being your authentic self. Manson encourages men to embrace their identity rather than trying to fit into an artificial mold crafted by societal expectations or misguided dating advice.
Manson’s approach is about something other than playing games or strategizing every interaction. He underscores genuine connections aren’t built on contrived maneuvers but honest expression and shared experiences. He emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, urging men to open up, express their feelings, and show their true selves. This vulnerability fosters deep, meaningful connections beyond the superficial interactions that many dating strategies promote.
Moreover, Manson stresses the significance of respecting women as individuals with their thoughts, feelings, and desires. Instead of viewing women as targets to be won over, he promotes understanding and valuing them as equals. This respect is vital to forming authentic connections and attracting women sincerely and meaningfully.
Manson’s approach is fresh air in a world teeming with distorted views on attraction and questionable dating advice. He underscores that attraction isn’t a deceptive game to be won but an opportunity for genuine connection and mutual understanding. His approach reminds us that attracting women isn’t about perfecting the art of seduction but about embracing and expressing our authentic selves. He does cross the line with his advice on when to sleep with a woman. It’s a disappointing turn from what is otherwise a positive path. However, you need to filter ANY and ALL advice you receive on relationships, and Manson’s books are no exception. In the end, go with what seems sensible. What would your mother or sister prefer?
This is essential reading for guys who need to simplify their approach to dating.
Manson is also the author of “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.” His books are life-changers for men, and I can’t recommend them more. Step back from the online dating chaos and read his work. Give yourself a pause and a new perspective and approach. If you’ve followed me for a while now, you know I have experienced the positive impact of being “vulnerable” and coachable in my personal and professional development. Give this new approach with women an honest try, and let me know how it goes.